Four hours of my life lost.
Four hours stolen from me.
Four hours away from my family.
Four hours of pain and frustration.
And a Thanksgiving dinner without me.
That was yesterday. All because I had one stupid (tasty) mimosa. A mimosa that triggered an explosive migraine that ruined four hours of our Thanksgiving Day. So unfair and simply ridiculous.
But that’s my life. I never know when it’s going to hit, how bad it will get, what I will miss out on or who I’ll let down.
Yesterday I didn’t want to stay behind but the thought of going over to a small space with bright lights, 13 loud family members including a crying baby, and the smell of food literally turned my stomach. I stayed behind to rest and do everything I could do to feel better but I can never avoid the frustration that invades me and the guilt I feel.
What if the Imitrex doesn’t work?
Should I have taken the Maxalt instead?
When should I take some Excedrin?
I need to feel better NOW!!
I laid in my dark room shaking, nauseous, switching between an ice pack & my hot rice pack. I had already taken 100MG of Imitrex and 2 Excedrins. I was on hour two. My stomach was super upset. I couldn’t sleep. I started thinking of the damage popping all these pills will have on my body. I started to think that maybe one day, one of my children will inherit these migraines for me and it will completely break my heart.
I tried to stop the torturous thoughts and try to switch over to gratitude but I couldn’t find it at that moment…I couldn’t find much to be grateful for. I was in so much pain.
Hour three. I managed to get in the shower and make myself throw up. I finally felt some relief. I was finally able to stand without feeling like my head was dragging me down. I got back in bed and laid there wrapped in my towel feeling some gratitude. The pain was leaving. I closed my eyes and fell asleep for 20 minutes. This sort of pain is exhausting to say the least.
Relief. The pain has passed and I’m ready to join my family and make the best of my time with them.
I am grateful to have pills that work for me… most of the time… sometimes faster than others. Sometimes with no side affects like those endless rebound headaches but nonetheless I’m grateful.
I am grateful for my understanding and caring children. Because as crappy and guilty as I may feel I’m still a good mom in spite of the migraines.
I am grateful for my husband who tries his best and offers me everything insight.
I am grateful for the days without pain.
I share this today because I hope to enlighten those that don’t know what a migraine feels like but may have a loved one that suffers.
There is no cure just ways of masking the pain… some times.
We are not weak and we are not faking it.
And sometimes there’s nothing you can do, so just be patient and be considerate.
We truly appreciate it.