Migraines & Gratitude

Four hours of my life lost.

Four hours stolen from me.

Four hours away from my family.

Four hours of pain and frustration.

And a Thanksgiving dinner without me.

That was yesterday. All because I had one stupid (tasty) mimosa. A mimosa that triggered an explosive migraine that ruined four hours of our Thanksgiving Day. So unfair and simply ridiculous.

But that’s my life. I never know when it’s going to hit, how bad it will get, what I will miss out on or who I’ll let down.

Yesterday I didn’t want to stay behind but the thought of going over to a small space with bright lights, 13 loud family members including a crying baby, and the smell of food literally turned my stomach. I stayed behind to rest and do everything I could do to feel better but I can never avoid the frustration that invades me and the guilt I feel.

What if the Imitrex doesn’t work?

Should I have taken the Maxalt instead?

When should I take some Excedrin?

I need to feel better NOW!!

I laid in my dark room shaking, nauseous, switching between an ice pack & my hot rice pack. I had already taken 100MG of Imitrex and 2 Excedrins. I was on hour two. My stomach was super upset. I couldn’t sleep. I started thinking of the damage popping all these pills will have on my body. I started to think that maybe one day, one of my children will inherit these migraines for me and it will completely break my heart.

I tried to stop the torturous thoughts and try to switch over to gratitude but I couldn’t find it at that moment…I couldn’t find much to be grateful for. I was in so much pain.

Hour three. I managed to get in the shower and make myself throw up. I finally felt some relief. I was finally able to stand without feeling like my head was dragging me down. I got back in bed and laid there wrapped in my towel feeling some gratitude. The pain was leaving. I closed my eyes and fell asleep for 20 minutes. This sort of pain is exhausting to say the least.

Relief. The pain has passed and I’m ready to join my family and make the best of my time with them.

I am grateful to have pills that work for me… most of the time… sometimes faster than others. Sometimes with no side affects like those endless rebound headaches but nonetheless I’m grateful.

I am grateful for my understanding and caring children. Because as crappy and guilty as I may feel I’m still a good mom in spite of the migraines.

I am grateful for my husband who tries his best and offers me everything insight.

I am grateful for the days without pain.

I share this today because I hope to enlighten those that don’t know what a migraine feels like but may have a loved one that suffers.

There is no cure just ways of masking the pain… some times.

We are not weak and we are not faking it.

And sometimes there’s nothing you can do, so just be patient and be considerate.

We truly appreciate it.

My Heartaches for Mexico

My sweet boy drew me these colorful hearts after I told him I was a little sad and of course, his cute gesture bought a much needed smile to my face. 😌❣️

These past few days have been truly heartbreaking. The devastation happening all over the world is sad & scary to say the least.

After hearing about Mexico City’s earthquake on Tuesday my heart sank. My thoughts, feelings, and emotions contradicted themselves and I kept holding back & denying them.

I watched every news story & every video shared on social media by those living through this nightmare.

I couldn’t look away.

I worried about my family there & prayed for their safety. I imagined the fear they must have been feeling.

I absorbed the pain I kept seeing.

My head was spinning, my body was feverish, and my stomach was in knots.

I was overcome with fear. Fear for the world and for my family.

What if this happens here? We aren’t prepared. The kids aren’t prepared. And then the worst case scenarios entered my head.

I kept fighting every thought & held back the tears.

Why was I doing this to myself?!

As much as I wanted to fight everything I was feeling I realized that I had to surrender, I had to let these feelings be.

I allowed myself to feel and accepted the pain my heart felt… and once I acknowledged it I felt better.

I stepped out of my house for some fresh air and looking up at the night sky filled me with peace.

I understood my feelings and the frustration I felt over this uncontrollable situation.

I felt grateful that my tías were safely evacuated out of work and were able to get back home safely to my abue and cousins. Everyone in my family is safe. Gracias a Dios.

I know everyone reacts differently to situations but I felt I needed to share how I was feeling… not just for myself but for those that are struggling.

You are not alone and you are allowed to have these feelings.

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Please continue to pray for Mexico but please DONATE too! Anything & everything helps!!

Here is a link to all the different ways you can help – DONATE to Mexico.

Goodbye Old, Hello New

You guys! On Friday night…

We bought a car & I'm so excited! 🤗

Before I get into that, a little back story. In the past 19 years, Bobby & I have driven several different cars, some classics, some just old but all of them were used or hand me downs. Our first dealership purchase was a 2003 Honda Odyssey. We purchased her in 2007 and for the last 10 years she has been our loyal companion. Rhonda, yes I named my mini van, has been through so much with us and we are very grateful for these years with her. As we're getting ready to part ways, Julieta and I started thinking of all the memories we've shared with Rhonda. So before the "FOR SALE" sign goes up, we want to thank her for her time of service.

Thank you, Rhonda… for the daily school drop offs and pick ups, and for the soccer practices, games, dance classes and competitions we attended.
Thank you for safely getting 6 little Daisy Girl Scouts to their field trips, and 7 teenage girls to teepee houses and of course, for getting our adult friends to bars/parties/concerts in LA.
Thank you for all the road trips – for the hundreds of trips to the beach & to Disneyland and for only leaving us stranded at those places once.
Thank you for racing to the hospital for us and for that dog that died in the passenger seat.
Thank you for bringing Anthony home from the hospital, he's not happy that you're leaving. And more importantly, thank you for pulling through even though we didn'talways take care of you.
Thank you for 10 years of service. We hope to find you a new owner that will invest in you, because I believe you still have a few more miles to go! Goodbye, old friend!

Well now that the goodbyes are behind us, let me tell you about our new car…
It's the 2017 Honda Pilot EX & it's absolutely beautiful!

This is our first brand new car and the first time we'll have a car payment!!! Ahhh!!! Talk about adulting at a whole new level! 😅

I'm so happy to have a comfortable, safe and reliable car for our family & I'm so grateful for my hardworking husband for making this happen for us!

If you see us driving by make sure to wave. We're probably on our way to make more memories! ✨

Endlessly Parenting

On March 21st, Bobby & I took a big step into our next adventure…
In the past 2 months we've had our fingerprints checked, we've taken a CPR/First Aid class, we've done tons of paperwork (more to come!!), we have met with our social worker twice, our home has been inspected & last night we completed the 20 hours of our required training…
Our journey has really just begun but I'm now ready to share with the world that we are becoming foster parents! 💙✨ #TheLopezFosterJourney

More to come…

Today I struggle as a mom…

Becoming a mother has been my biggest and most rewarding achievement. I have learned so much about myself in this journey & not a day goes by where I’m not challenged AND rewarded by this endless job of raising my little & not so little humans. 

Today felt different, and even though I was pulled in three different directions…

Today I had no choice but to focus on the negative.

Because today was challenging…

Challenging in a way I hadn’t experienced or was prepared for. 

Today I was left questioning my parenting. Today I asked myself where I went wrong. 

Today I apologized to my own mother for ever making her feel the way I feel today.

Today I cried because parenting is hard. 

       
{To my child} The truth is today I struggled with being your mother… today I struggled with accepting your decisions and your actions. Today I feel disappointed and hurt. But none of this changes the way I love you… because my love for you is so deep and so real that nothing will ever change that. We have work to do… some healing needs to happen and trust needs to be rebuilt. But more importantly you can’t quit on yourself because I never will. 💓

✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️

2AM Feelings • Writing down my feelings in the middle of the night, help me better grasp my emotions & thoughts to face the new day. // 

Out of respect to my offspring I will not be sharing details of our current situation. I’ll just say this… teenagers + social media are death! 

Thank you for reading and if you’re struggling today… know you’re not alone and tomorrow will be better, I promise. ✨

Movie Date at Cinépolis Junior

Hey friends! It’s been awhile but I’m back! I have a few pending post and some upcoming things I hope to share with you soon, but for now let me tell you about my movie date with Anthony & our friends…

Yesterday we had the pleasure of attending a free private event hosted by Jacqui of Baby Boy Bakery at Cinépolis in Pico Rivera. Not only did we get to experience this brand new kid friendly auditorium but we also got to watch an advance screening of “Smurfs: The Lost Village”. Definitely a fun evening! 🤗

About the theater –  Cinépolis Junior was first introduced in Mexico as Sala Junior. The concept later extended to theaters in other countries and is now making its debut in the USA, starting with two Southern California locations. Cinepolis Junior will open today at Cinépolis Pico Rivera & Cinépolis Vista and will only feature child friendly (G and PG) films 7 days a week.

Cinépolis Junior isn’t your typical movie theater! It’s colorful & playful and designed for kids ages 3-12 but all ages are welcomed. The auditorium features a play structure for kids between 3 to 5 feet tall and a smaller play area for families with children under 3. They have some unique seating like beanbags and lounge chairs, so make sure you know where you want to sit when you’re reserving your tickets.

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📷 Instagram image from Cinépolis

Okay, so here is the question everyone is asking… Can kids play during the movie? And the answer is NO. Kids will be able to play for 20 minutes before the movie begins and will be asked to take a seat before showtime. I was told that they are considering a 15 minute intermission during the film to let kids explore & use the restroom but that has yet to be decided. UPDATE: There is a 15 minute intermission! 🤗

Cinépolis Rules
Tickets are a $1 more than regular admission. Reserved seats are offered and note that beanbags are more because they are meant for 2 people.

My Opinion – We had a great experience even though I was initially hesitant of this whole indoor playground / movie theater. I was worried that Anthony would just want to play and not sit through the 89 minute long movie. He’s not much of a movie watcher and has serious reservations with the unfamiliar. This was his third time at the movies but his first time actually sitting and watched the whole thing! I guess getting all the wiggles out before the movie helped! Of course having popcorn in hand and his buddy next to him made things even better!

Anthony & Liam 👦🏻🍿👦🏻

So yes, I would definitely go back and make myself comfortable in one of those huge beanbags! But if you ask Anthony… he’ll say “No thank you, I already did that.” 😅 Hopefully I can convince him and we can visit again this summer. Hot days are approaching and this would be a fun, cool trip for yourself and your kiddos! 😊

Smurfs: The Lost Village in theaters April 7th! Super cute movie! 💙🎞
Thank you Martha for inviting us & driving! We had lots fun with you guys! ❤️



For more information visit Cinépolis or follow them on instagram @cinepolisusa.

Bucket List 

Buck·et List (noun)a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.

I’m hoping to accomplish all of these in my lifetime ! 🤗 My list is definitely a work in progress and I’m sure I’ll be adding more along the way. But for now my goal is to start crossing things off my list!

✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️✖️ (In no particular order.)

  • See my children – grow up – be happy – be successful 
  • Start a business ✔️
  • Buy a house 
  • Start a blog ✔️
  • Become an aunt… again 
  • Travel First Class
  • Visit Italy & live there for a month 
  • Go to Greece 
  • Hold a baby panda 
  • Go to Thailand 
  • Go zip lining 
  • Visit Costa Rica
  • Shoot a gun 
  • Stay in an overwater bungalow
  • Get a tattoo 
  • Foster kids 
  • Become a grandparent 
  • Take a picture every day for a year 
  • Be his bride 
  • Put gum on the gum wall in Seattle 
  • Help at a soup kitchen 
  • See the Northern Lights 
  • Grow my hair long ✔️
  • Eat a whole medium pizza myself
  • Explore Los Angeles (LA Bucket List coming soon.)
  • Release a floating lantern 
  • Learn how to swim… maybe
  • Make out w/ Pop Rocks in my mouth✔️  (👇🏼🙈)


Alright, guys what’s on your bucket list? How many things do you plan on crossing off your list this year?